Wednesday, April 25, 2007

TinFoilHat Awards for April

We can't even make this up. Forget about last month's dire warning of impending doom, now it turns out that there is a Great Oil Conspiracy to take over the Episcopal Church!

Of course, there is the usual silly swipe at IRD (which is still pretty funny - we wonder if they actually believe this stuff but tonight we were watching a documentary on the old SDS and we suspect that many actually do believe what they are saying, conspiracies offer a quick and easy way to blame someone else hasn't changed in forty years - see Dylan's little 1963 speech), but now it turns out that Oil is actually behind Everything That Goes Bump in the Night, including the Episcopal Church Crisis - it's not about theology, it's about Oil, black gold, Texas Tea.

If that's not enough, right click on the headline above and then read on.

Here's Louie:

"As for conspiracy theories, I suspect that following the money would take me more logically to Abuja than to the IRD office in Washington. Think "BP," British Petroleum, one of the largest investors in Nigerian oil. Remember that those who broker the appointment of the ABC have no required connection to Anglicanism; they remain brokers by answering to the economics of sterling. When ++Frank Griswold visited Nigeria (late 2002 or early 2003), he and those with him flew everywhere in jets that belonged to Nigerian oil companies -- at the behest of ++Peter Akinola, of course. Ecclesiastical warfare is often used as a smokescreen by power brokers with little interest in what makes the smoke. Often those most blind by the smoke are those in the thick of the warfare. The theory is not original with me; several colleagues have mentioned it in conversation. I do not have the skills or the time to do the research, but would welcome a chance to read the discoveries of experts who do."

Okay, so the Conspiracy of the Week to explain The Episcopal Church Crisis includes the following players:

British Petroleum
The Archbishop of Canterbury
Unnamed "Brokers"
Frank Griswold (you knew he'd figure in here somehow)
Ecclesiastical warfare (I think the next word is usually mongers)
Power Brokers
Unamed colleagues
A claim not to have the skills: wink wink - that's a funny one, coming from the author of this, but oh well. One does try.
No mention of Jed Clampett, though

Now we match this against today's posting from ole' Father Jones (more conspiracy theories lists, alas, with the usual round of evangelical scapegoats - we wonder if this is a sign of more backroom RICO saber rattling - they have checked under all the beds haven't they - Bishop Sauls, call your office) and we have the making for a major Popcorn Fest. In fact, we're popping some popcorn now and passing the bowls around.

So, next time we pull into the local gas station, we'll be sure to remember that as we fuel our loyal 92 Turcel, we're fueling the Conspiracy to Take Over The Episcopal Church. We do wonder what Peter Akinola will be blamed for next?

Thoughts anyone?

How about this:


Kevin said...

Thoughts anyone?

It was Professor Plum in the Library with a candlestick ...

Then again, I wonder if I can stir the pot any more for Dr. Crew:

"In May 2003, Halliburton revealed in SEC filings that its KBR subsidiary had paid a Nigerian official $2.4 million in bribes in order to receive favorable tax treatment"

++Akinola in secret conversations with Cheney? Has an element of the Illuminati been outed?! Quick, BB, go through the Truro archieves, did +Minns ever use "fnord" in a sermon? Oh man, this is big ...

Anonymous said...


I'm afraid that bribe has been the usual way of doing business in Nigeria. It really is such a corrupt country, although they are making attempts to correct it. And then you have big oil who pretty much everyone hates for jacking up oil prices and then having record profits! So for conspiracy theorists it's easy to take the situation and twist it around to fit any idea they want it to without providing any back up.

I find it hard for someone to make such allegations and then tell others to go research it! How does such outlandish speculation help anything??

Kevin said...

You kind of have to read my post with tongue-in-cheek.

For right or wrong - Halliburton is not real loved by 'liberal' for the three-fold - big oil, Cheney former CEO, Cheney now VP.

The Illuminatus! Trilogy may not be as familiar with most who read BabyBlue, but it's the granddaddy of conspiracy fiction -- but think with a edge humor instead The Da Vinci Code. Dr. Crews ideas are laughable, almost like some secret society trying to rule the world from a submarine ...

Kevin said...

My bad, I'm making ++Akinola a part of the Illuminati which would make Dr. Crew a part of the Discordians, wouldn't it ... So Dr. Crew get golden submarine ...

{[*Whiny Voice*] This get real difficult when dyslexic so not actually reading all 805 pages and gaining the story as retold by various fans}.

Anonymous said...

Wow... I don't think Jack Chick and Texe Marrs could have collaberated on a wide-eyed conspiracy theory. (he-he-he)

Anonymous said...

I don't think Jack Chick and Texe Marrs could have collaberated on a Better wide-eyed conspiracy theory. (Sorry, my fingers got ahead of the ol' brain...)

Anonymous said...

They have easy targets so it's easy to come up with a conspiracy. Take some fact, some prejudices, mix it all up (while wearing a tin-foil hat) and out comes a conspiracy. Better yet, say it's just speculation on your part so you don't defame anyone and then invite people to do the research for you.

Kevin said...

Taking this thread hopelessly off track again ...

Do you want to know why we're so addicted to petroleum products especially in transportation?

There 15 Mega-watts in a tank of gasoline !!!! (Source is MIT lecture form BP scientist). WOW! No wonder why we crave it so much.

That's all ... carry on ...

Anonymous said...

Tin foil hats anyone?