We can't even make this up. Forget about last month's dire warning of impending doom, now it turns out that there is a Great Oil Conspiracy to take over the Episcopal Church!
Of course, there is the usual silly swipe at IRD (which is still pretty funny - we wonder if they actually believe this stuff but tonight we were watching a documentary on the old SDS and we suspect that many actually do believe what they are saying, conspiracies offer a quick and easy way to blame someone else hasn't changed in forty years - see Dylan's little 1963 speech), but now it turns out that Oil is actually behind Everything That Goes Bump in the Night, including the Episcopal Church Crisis - it's not about theology, it's about Oil, black gold, Texas Tea.
If that's not enough, right click on the headline above and then read on.
"As for conspiracy theories, I suspect that following the money would take me more logically to Abuja than to the IRD office in Washington. Think "BP," British Petroleum, one of the largest investors in Nigerian oil. Remember that those who broker the appointment of the ABC have no required connection to Anglicanism; they remain brokers by answering to the economics of sterling. When ++Frank Griswold visited Nigeria (late 2002 or early 2003), he and those with him flew everywhere in jets that belonged to Nigerian oil companies -- at the behest of ++Peter Akinola, of course. Ecclesiastical warfare is often used as a smokescreen by power brokers with little interest in what makes the smoke. Often those most blind by the smoke are those in the thick of the warfare. The theory is not original with me; several colleagues have mentioned it in conversation. I do not have the skills or the time to do the research, but would welcome a chance to read the discoveries of experts who do."
Okay, so the Conspiracy of the Week to explain The Episcopal Church Crisis includes the following players:
The Archbishop of Canterbury
Frank Griswold (you knew he'd figure in here somehow)
Ecclesiastical warfare (I think the next word is usually mongers)
A claim not to have the skills: wink wink - that's a funny one, coming from the author of this, but oh well. One does try.
No mention of Jed Clampett, though
Now we match this against today's posting from ole' Father Jones (more conspiracy theories lists, alas, with the usual round of evangelical scapegoats - we wonder if this is a sign of more backroom RICO saber rattling - they have checked under all the beds haven't they - Bishop Sauls, call your office) and we have the making for a major Popcorn Fest. In fact, we're popping some popcorn now and passing the bowls around.
So, next time we pull into the local gas station, we'll be sure to remember that as we fuel our loyal 92 Turcel, we're fueling the Conspiracy to Take Over The Episcopal Church. We do wonder what Peter Akinola will be blamed for next?
How about this: